What do people say they want from sex? Some combination of pleasure and closeness. But that’s not what people typically focus on. Instead, men and women poison their erotic space with narratives of failure, existential issues, gender stereotypes, blaming, secrets, and shame of every possible kind.
The standard “dysfunctions” don’t begin to cover it. The standard request—for better “function”—is a plea to improve sexual experience without changing the self or the relationship. Too many therapists enthusiastically collude with such self-defeating requests. Clients don’t realize, and therapists sometimes forget, that “function” (erection, lubrication, orgasm) is simply a means to an end—more sexual satisfaction. Unfortunately, it’s rarely the best means to that end.
In this seminar, I’ll present a different way to conceptualize cases—leading to different strategies, and more importantly, to better outcomes. We’ll cover topics including:
* Assessing and treating “function” & “dysfunction”—and why we must go further
* Evaluating clients’ sexual ecology
* Key features of a good intake
* Why we shouldn’t ask clients what their problem is
* Why we shouldn’t tell clients they’re “normal”
* Sexual aspects of aging
* Succeeding with clients who identify as religious
* Enhancing desire & satisfaction in long-term couples
* Defining & handling infidelity
* Working with couples in conflict about pornography
* Giving homework that’s much more useful than sensate focus
* Sexual narratives: why they matter, how to assess them, and how to change them
All friction isn’t created equal; context, belief, and interpretation matter. This seminar will help you help individuals and couples identify what they really need to change—and to actually change it. After all, sex is more than just an activity—it’s an idea.
- Describe realistic sexual goals for long-term couples.
- Explain the disadvantages of common approaches to infidelity.
- Describe an existential-based approach to treating infidelity.
- List four limitations of the sexual addiction model.
- Describe an alternative to the sexual addiction model.
- Describe what a “sexual narrative” is, how to assess patients’ sexual narratives, and how to use thisinformation clinically.
- Explain the range of reasons that people use pornography, and how pornography use typicallyaffects consumers and their partner if they have one.
1 Hour: Intake and assessment
1 Hour: Sexual Goals
1 Hour: Common approaches to working with couples with infidelity
1 Hour: Existential based approaches to treating infidelity
1 Hour: Sexual addiction model and why we need alternatives
1 Hour: Alternative models to treating out of control sexual behavior
1 Hour: Sexual narratives
1 Hour: Pornography – working with issues related
Marty Klein, PhD has been an MFT and Certified Sex Therapist for 39 years. A founding editorial board member of the Journal of Porn Studies, his recent book (his 7th) is His Porn, Her Pain: Confronting America’s PornPanic With Honest Talk About Sex. Marty has trained tens of thousands of professionals in human sexuality in over 40 countries; audiences invariably describe his workshops as thought-provoking, down-to-earth, and entertaining.
Marty appears regularly in national media such as The New York Times, National Public Radio, and the Daily Show. Regularly called upon to give expert testimony in human sexuality in state and federal courts, he recently gave two Congressional briefings on evidence-based sex education. His award-winning Sexual Intelligence blog is at www.SexEd.org.