CNM, Poly, & Attachment Bonds (4 CE Hours)

Description

This workshop will cover some of the unique factors in working with consensual/ethical non monogamous (ENM/CNM) couples, including current research on managing multiple attachment bonds, differences in composition of CNM relationships, clinical considerations on working with couples with primary/secondary partners, and explore how such couples co-generate and discuss relationship agreements and boundaries. For monogamous couples, this workshop can serve as a way to explore flexibility in the relationship should partners feel stuck in their current relationship configuration. Historically, EFT and other attachment oriented therapies have been conceptualized as cementing a single attachment bond within a monogamous relationship and current research has demonstrated that partners have opted to balance multiple attachment bonds. This review will discuss how Emotionally Focused Therapy can be adapted to work with CNM populations still within an attachment framework. Finally, two case examples of working with CNM couples will be reviewed; one between primary partners addressing their sexual cycle while maintaining their relational bond and another between secondary partners navigating a dissolution of their relationship due to differing attachment needs. Both case examples can serve as ways in which CNM couples can utilize therapy with different goals and that they can be as heterogenous in their needs as monogamous couples. 

Learning Objectives

At the conclusion of this workshop, participants will be able to:

1. Explain 4 ways in which CNM couples differ from monogamous couples, including differences in composition and clinical needs
2. Discuss how attachment oriented therapies (including EFT) can be adapted to suit CNM couples’ needs
3. Describe how the role of sexual and relational cycles across multiple attachment bonds can be addressed
4. Discuss how to apply and facilitate discussions around relationship agreements and boundaries with an attachment lens

Activity Schedule

1. Research on CNM/ENM couples
   1. Definitions of terms in CNM relationships
   2. Attachment
2. Attachment-oriented therapies/EFT
   1. Research on modifications of EFT
3. Clinical considerations for CNM couples
   1. Sexual/Relational cycles
   2. Relationship agreements
   3. Boundaries
   4. Compersion
4. Case Reviews
   1. Primary couple #1
      1. Sexual cycle with relational cycle intact
   2. Secondary couple #2
      1. Mixed agenda with dissolution of relationship
5. Conclusions

Speaker Bio

Dr. Miklos Hargitay got his BA in Anthropology from University of California – Santa Barbara and his PsyD from William James College. He is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and is an EFT certified couples therapist. He is currently working in New York in private practice working with couples in navigating their relational and sexual cycles. Dr. Hargitay has specialized in working with CNM/ENM couples who are looking to foster and strengthen attachment bonds. 

Class originally recorded: 12/22/2025.

Social workers completing this course receive 4 clinical continuing education credits.