A New Model of Male Sexuality Featuring Good Enough Sex (GES) and Responsive Male Desire

Traditionally, male sexuality has been viewed as simple, dependable, and strong. Female sexuality is portrayed as complex and variable, but male sex is easy-focused on spontaneous erections,totally predictable intercourse, and easy orgasm.

This clinically-oriented workshop recognizes the psychological, relational, and sexual factors which can promote or subvert male sexuality, especially in adult relationships (married or partnered).We advocate  a respectful, empathic approach to understanding, assessing, treating, and relapse prevention for common male sexual problems (erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, ejaculatory inhibition, and low desire).In addition, to traditional couples we will explore alternative sexualities including consensual non-monogamy, gay couples, bisexual plus men, kink, varied gender expression, and BDSM. We  advocate for the Good Enough Sex (GES) model with a  focus on couple sex therapy in contrast to individual therapy or medical intervention as a stand-alone approach. Focus  on acceptance and pleasure rather than a return to predictable individual sex performance. The new mantra of desire/pleasure/eroticism/satisfaction is applicable to men, women, and couples. In most adult relationships there are more sexual similarities than differences between the genders. We  advocate for the Female-Male Sexual Equity model, dropping the traditional double standard.

This workshop confronts the secrecy and shame that shadows so much of male sexuality, especially sexual trauma. We explore strategies to promote becoming a proud survivor rather than being an anxious, angry, or shameful victim.

We propose a new model of healthy male sexuality based on pleasure and acceptance which  promotes primary prevention as well as  a way to address sexual problems.

Learning Objectives

1. Describe how to implement the Good Enough Sex (GES) model
2. Explain with the four session assessment model
3. Discuss male responsive sexual desire as more changeable and genuine than spontaneous desire.
4. Explain broad-based, flexible male sexual response, especially with illness, disability, and aging.
5. Discuss male sexuality as multi-causal, multi-dimensional with large individual, couple, cultural, and value differences.
6. Describe the “both-and” approach for low desire and sex dysfunction.
7. Create an individualized relapse prevention plan.
8. Discuss increased awareness of professional and personal values, including how to make referrals,

Schedule

2 hours

Confront myths about male sexuality

Couple therapy vs. individual therapy

Four session assessment model

Sexual desire and sexual dysfunction

Case study featuring sexual secrecy and shame

1 hour and 30 minutes: 

Strategies and techniques to build erectile self-efficacy

Psychobiosocial model for couple sex therapy

Treatment of ejaculatory inhibition

Treatment of premature ejaculation

Develop an  individualized relapse prevention plan

1 hour and 10 minutes:

A new model of assessing and treating extra-marital affairs

Monogamy vs. consensual non-monogamy

Deciding on a couple sexual style

First class treatment of alternative sexualities

2 hours and 20 minutes:

Sexual trauma as a shameful secret

Sexual variations-acceptance, compartmentalization, necessary loss

Gay and bisexual plus couples

Men without partners

Fatally flawed marriages and the good divorce

Therapist interest, competence, and values

Speaker Bio:

Barry W. McCarthy, PhD, ABPP, is a board certified clinical psychologist (ABPP), certified marital and sex therapist, and a tenured professor of psychology at American University. His clinical expertise focused on integrating sex therapy strategies and techniques into individual and couple therapy, assessment and treatment of the most common male and female sexual problems, and a special expertise in the treatment of sexual desire disorders.

Dr. McCarthy earned his BA from Loyola University and his MA and PhD from Southern Illinois University. His professional memberships include the American Psychological Association, American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, Society for Sex Therapy and Research, and Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies. He is a Diplomate in sex therapy earning this from the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.

As a leading expert in this field, Dr. McCarthy has presented over 350 workshops around the world, and his extensive list of publications includes over 100 professional articles, 26 book chapters, and co-authorship of 14 books, including Rekindling Desire (2nd edition), Sexual Awareness (5th edition), Enduring Desire, Discovering Your Couple Sexual Style, Men’s Sexual Health, Coping with Erectile Dysfunction, Getting It Right the First Time, and Coping with Premature Ejaculation.