Moving Clients from Having Narcissistic Sex to Relational Sex, 3 CE Hours

Description:
One question that is often overlooked in sex and couples therapy is asking the client “Why do you want to have sex?” Meanwhile the scientific community has been interested in this question for decades. Research has come up with answers — 237 answers to be exact. Those answers range from the physical to the goal-oriented to the emotional and to the insecurity-based reasons. When we take a closer look into these reasons, they can be sometimes subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle narcissistically motivated based on the individual’s psychology. It is necessary that clinicians recognize these narcissistic motivations for sex; they can be, and often are, a cause of distress for the individual, their partner(s), and a strain on the relationship. Clients struggle with them and many clinicians do not see them. Until the clinician addresses the narcissistic injury, the individual will continue to pursue relief from this pain in a self-centered way, creating a self-reinforcing cycle of pain. And without the clinician addressing these psychological undercurrents, sex therapy clients can leave treatment feeling like something is missing in their sexual relationship and connection.

Learning Objectives:

After attending this 3 hour course, participants will be able to:

1. Explain an individual’s narcissistic motivation to engage in sex.
2. Discuss its psychodynamic underpinnings conceptually.
3. Describe two tools in helping move the individual and/or couple towards a relational dynamic in sex.

Speaker Bio:

Diane Gleim is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor, and IAPST Certified Psychosexual Therapist (™) and Supervisor practicing online and in-person in Santa Rosa, California. As the first Certified Sex Therapist in Sonoma County, Diane treats the many diverse issues related to sexual identity, sexual expression, sexual behavior, and sexual relationships. Her clients include everyone with a sexual concern: individuals and couples ages 18-85, and the LGBTQ+, kinky, and poly populations. In addition to her private practice, Diane’s work also includes providing trainings and consultations; writing the blog “Underneath the Sheets” on Psychology Today’s website; and supervising sex-therapists-in-training for AASECT and IAPST certification. She has been quoted in the press and a guest on podcasts. Diane has been voted Sonoma County’s Best Sex Therapist by the readers of the North Bay Bohemian six times.